[Music]
then hurry the fuck up
[Music]
hey Cheryl what's taking so long you
fall in I'm almost done
[Music]
learn to flush god damn it you think
life's like a cartoon it's hard for us
birds to rubbish people give you bread
they give me poison sick of this shit
you still here
tell me what's he bitching about now
feeling sorry for himself Cheryl says
life is unfair that being a rat really
fucked up I told you to stop using that
word what word rat or fucked up hey cut
the crap decisions have to be made for
tonight's party is it gonna be fish or
beef oh I know what was that second
thing again was it fish fish
yes it was fish but you don't know how
to fish do you you know I can't swim
I'm a land go you want to go drown be my
guest
shut the fuck up I'll get the fish you
get the booze get off your lazy asses
and get on it
hopeless okay okay but I gotta warn you
it's gonna be hard without cash stop
making excuses do I look like I care
you're a thief so go ahead and fucking
steal son
but likenesses are you get out of here
enjoy the music let's go
[Music]
what the hell you call that shit music a
deaf adult wire will sound better it
sounds like your mama gave up the cello
took up the chainsaw and use it to saw
through her fetish on your cat flap Hey
shit oh it's me boss who is it boss
its Blacky you got to come right away
it's the most beautiful thing I've ever
seen she's the cat's meow to your house
she's the that's only if you're
interested I mean of course what do you
think pedigree oh yeah
Sammy's clean soft curly real class like
me well I guess it'll be a while before
they get back with the fun stuff so yeah
why not
Siamese huh are they the ones with the
flat nose and the bushy tail no no no
their fruits these ones have developed
real sexy who do you think you'll like
my fine ass you betcha
how could she possibly say no no clam
jam here broke she's prime cap
tenderloin ready for roasting yeah
she'll be gone
[Music]
you cut off my credit and you want
respect
stupid Old Spice excuse me sir I'm
looking for someone well they my
Information Center use your phone like
the other kids
okay hey tell me what she likes I've got
a party to plan so I want to skip the
small talk and get straight to the point
Oh a party can I come just tell me
oh man you love her they call her
princess she's all curves and tight
little furball built for comfort not for
speed just lay back and enjoy the ride
and all she would say is cheer oh you
did that so good I almost came in my
first part of the service did you know
I'm starting Ferg book the cat-on-cat
hook up up Blacky you went back to
pimping no no this is legit do you know
how hard it is to get laid in this city
even in season the pedigrees find
husbands and we get a piece of the
action
who's at the party of course I got it
all under control
ah 100% proof at five o'clock
[Music]
nice Cologne what is it
oh dear Oh dente chill dude I gotta say
it's an improvement yeah shut the fuck
up and fly anybody ever tell you you've
got a negative attitude yes and I'm
positive you're an idiot
per kitty purr they say these breed
dates back 2,000 years to China only an
emperor could have her so of course I
thought of you my friend I also thought
maybe you should have a new name
chairman meow hello my little princess
you are so cute I want to eat you up and
kiss your kissy face oh look what you
did you signed it oh shit
I'm late again not now I have to go
okay princess I'll be back soon you be a
good girl while I'm gone hey baby
I'm shyra let's get busy let's move
[Music]
they see likes me
[Music]
she could have just said no shit what
have we done shano shano shano
quickly let's go don't panic it's not
our fault she obviously had intimacy
issues okay okay hang on princess hello
princess
sweetheart
I died as I lived three it's just deep
[Music]
I need a drink
Cheryl Cheryl Cheryl where are you where
is he what the fuck is he well
hey you tell him okay I sure don't want
to I won't have to tell him he'll know
he always does yeah that's true
hey zero I have a surprise for you
get out of my face old man I'm in no
mood for surprises today no no trust me
you love this one so you finally come to
your senses
great give me a beer hey what no not
that pulls off ah look who's here
what's that hello my name is taco Papa
it's talking to me what are you talking
about it looks just like you it's
incredible
since when do cats have sons
trust me kid
you're better off without him he's a
lost cause
ah there he is he's empty handed -
that's great but it means we're gonna
starve tonight can you call me an idiot
[Music]
where did that come from
I got the fish start pouring the booze
it's time for us to drink
what's wrong bro he didn't make it
who's he
you know Blackie the pimp
slain like a dog maybe rest in peace
let's put a glass out for my friend hey
where's the booze we couldn't find any
it's so dry birds are building nest with
razor wire
there's nothing nada zip you're a moron
but what's your Excuse we don't work for
you
we are supposed to be friends but mister
my jaw is twice the size of my head
couldn't give a shit but we went through
today too right I don't care
Stewart I'm outta here you ungrateful
son of a she cat hag we bust our asses
for you and all you can do is insult us
what the fuck is wrong with you excuse
me who are you hey looks like a mini
share oh the poor kid yes
[Music]
you drank it all you know other people
live here right selfish prick
you ingrate cows produce more milk when
played classical music plants grow
taller but you grow fat and ugly you
call that shit music you suck you
wouldn't know good music if it fuck you
in the ass
screw you take Cheryl and what you for
you you don't bother to feed me or get
me any booze but you still strut your
fat ass around slamming it be a goddamn
cat lover can I get a moment of peace
just one get out of here you loser loser
what did you last get laid you're too
busy stroking your noisemaker what she's
all you care about leave her out of this
[Music]
okay lady let me just pull this down put
that pothole to now are you okay
silence don't call me lady besides
you're as bad as him
heavens better sent in months really you
sure years and years and years and years
you have taken advantage of me I have
had enough
you're both evicted I want you out of my
apartment now I hope a big fat bone gets
stuck in his throat and he chokes the
little bastard stole your fish huh
how about I tear him in half and stuff
him like a muppet as a present to your
grandson yeah too little too late please
shut up
I can't believe I'm going to sit
this but I'll give you one more day to
pay out have it tomorrow or I let the
police throw you out on the street here
me lowlife bum reasonable please one day
that's it got it okay then let me get
the door for you
god dammit why is he here he's really
funny Shiro where have you been hiding
him his sense of humor must come from
his mother I don't know who the fuck you
think you are but you're not wanted here
dad I'm your son do you have any idea
how much see that song it's nothing to
be proud of think they all call me Dad
get lost
chill out Sheriff stay out of it but dad
get the fuck out of here get moving so
hard to find you and I only just got
here goodbye now your knife life is over
now take
[Music]
come on yeah no shit you and I are
through get out of here go now what are
you talking about you're the one that's
supposed to pay the rent from now on
you're on your own a spray fragrance
bastard bastard
to hell with you what kind of father
turns away a nice boy like you come live
with me you can't be my kid you know I
have plenty of food yes and all the milk
you could ever want huh there's nothing
for me here nothing I know when I'm not
wanted
getting used to that thanks anyway semi
okay okay but please let me give you
some food I've lost my appetite
I gotta go so much for friendship I
don't need that jerk-off I'm my own man
he's the bastard not me
I really need to get some pussy right
now
[Music]
it's the end of the road snow white
you've got two choices we can do this
the easy way or the fun way or the hard
way very hard
pun intended hey baby looks like fun can
I join
what's your name my name Miska Miska so
you're not a mrs. dense scram alleycat
she's Oh before we were interrupted by
these townhomes distal fleabags you
bastard what did you say bastard bastard
bastard I'm a bastard
damn right so let's get this straight he
didn't mean it
yeah I did maybe you should take it back
no chance I'm a bastard you deaf say it
one more time you knew that son of a my
bastard bastard bastard bastard bastard
bastard
he moved you crazy you need to sleep but
his heart's still beating but that's
impossible
his brains in a jar
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
I hear you saved my life
this is a dangerous neighborhood for a
girl like you so I see we just moved
here I wanted to check out the
neighborhood but then those thugs
started chasing me and if you didn't
come along no problem
at your service here so sweet really
[Music]
let's cut out the chase of course we
don't even know each other fine
we do it your way miss cap shadow shadow
miss cap and they say romance is dead
try asking me out on a date are you
serious cats not people okay Cheryl
bye-bye
okay okay okay fine you win it's your
time stay I'll give you a little bit of
Cheryl time honey I'm pure angora you
can't afford my time so not today it
seems perhaps we could meet here later
[Music]
you're eager when the moon is high I'll
be here
[Music]
this be love
[Music]
fuck off she kissed me
[Music]
fuck you all
Cheers in love
[Music]
I
[Music]
my good man semi isn't life wonderful oh
it isn't and you're a steel cut off let
me ask you something
what now I need some advice a
recommendation not for free I met a girl
see me I'm in love
another girl in trouble on things after
all I've done for you I just wanted to
give her a gift something special and I
wanted your opinion uh it's a bottle of
wine a good gift and dudes bet for this
bottle of wine how come on Simmi don't
be like that how about a beer what's
wrong with you doing a woman's heart
you don't give her liquor
Sookie be flowers I've got bread in the
shape of a flower but only for something
called man yeah screw you
oh god leave Casanova
[Music]
that's good fucking this is our turf
here we go hmm I've had some meetings
before but nothing quite like that
pounding will excuse me
I feel like my insides are on the
outside a fucking Alley Cat why is his
head so big it's unnatural he must be on
growth hormones or something
you get his
Terra
hey he's looking for him too hey Cheryl
[Music]
where Cheryl I know where he is mister
[Music]
I got you some flowers you like them you
like flowers take it
god damn it for you for you for you
fucking flowers like that's gonna work
pull it together man you are as sweet as
this God could I be more of a pussy I
can't do this I'm out of here
have you been there
[Music]
grown with colonic filtration is the
latest technique
[Music]
open your eyes you like that
faster-faster-faster how'd that feel
dirtbag already
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
leave her alone she had nothing to do
with it come after me you zombie prick
Oh
[Music]
captain
[Music]
maybe I just want to get laid
[Music]
this little one is so sweet to see your
son he wishes he was yeah I'm his son
my mother's name is mimosa mimosa from
old Chinatown that's her
a brunette right yeah that's her hmm I
don't know her get out of here hang on a
second
you only just met him twice he keeps
giving me the brush-off I should go
you two have a lot of catching up to do
no you will stay he'll go been nice
knowing you kid why don't you go back to
your mama okay tell her
Shiro called and he wants his comeback
so why don't we get out of here my mom's
dead hmm
Mimi's dead how as if you care great kid
wow that sucks you're just gonna let him
leave he's fine you saw him before he
can take care of himself
fine huh
[Applause]
John wouldn't do this to Garfield
goddamn mouth-breather he came to see
his father his father since when do cats
have fathers we're not people right
not bad kid
not bad next time don't use your wrists
next time do it from your shoulder watch
like this Thanks I'll try that next time
all right let's get something to eat
I'm so hungry I could eat my own food
twice kid did you meet the guy from the
grocery store yes I have an idea hey
Sammy Gani empty boxes the bag with the
rats what about the money on me you have
the money right do I look like a bum
incredible not you again cat's in the
cradle
Cheryl's giving me a chance to stay
isn't it great no are you sure what's in
it for him there's nothing he's a
changed cat I swear unlikely chance to
stay keep talks about if you must know
I'm on a mission from God who the hell
does he think he is damn blues brother
the thing is I can only stay if I get
some booze or I'm out permanently
no way not a drop he's on his own I
can't help you no more credit for that
moocher oh okay
I understand you were my last hope of
staying there well Papa all right okay
you got me
and what else do you want for fried
chickens in a coke
Mimi Cheryl
can I have just one moment of peace
[Music]
yo whatever you do don't slow down
follow my lead
pizza boy
[Music]
I wanted a drink what I thought you were
a goner oh god you're okay
[Music]
once boarded up tight it as it gets
behind ya not welcome here if I catch
you I'll turn you into a minks sweater
haven't you got the haints yet
[Music]
hey Easy Rider thanks for the lift this
is us
your girlfriend is gone and don't even
try to come in you are looking for goes
mr. taco what's going on miss cat
[Music]
fuck my life
step back everybody we need more room
move it come on back up people come on
you heard the man
okay
[Music]
Oh about fucking time
hey risky you got the wrong bird fatty
I'll give you the right bird jerk dude
my wings are gonna fall hard enough bird
man just a little bit further come on
let's go check out down south ok I can
smell it nose nose
that way it's coming from the tower we
trade places if I was going to trade
places it would be with the squirrel no
traps no rat poison they get respect are
you kidding
you'd make one ugly-ass squirrel are you
insane I can't jump from here when you
hear me whistle come get me okay
[Music]
you pull over now
merthin my homie what up I can't believe
it's you been a long time got some of
the good stuff on you air quality is
getting worse dude talking chimps are
screwin up for everyone hey watch it
what's wrong with kids today
[Music]
you still work in the dock no no no
enjoying retirement and you you still
spotting for robberies yeah kind of but
it just keeps getting harder no time in
the small time
[Music]
we were talking telling what Steven
Seagal jokes Wow how birds of a feather
can go fuck themselves together I told
you I'm sorry
hold on tonight I'm sure she'll be back
soon
I don't think so what do you know about
women anyway
miss miss Kat she seems really nice nice
is boring you're boring you don't drink
or smoke and your conversation sucks and
all you talk about is booze and women
you're not interested in having a real
conversation I'm out wait up
what's got four legs a tail it always
lands on its feet
we're about to find out and give me some
cigarettes
[Music]
where the hell have you two been
everything got fucked up dude I don't
give a rat's ass no more excuses
where's the fucking drink I'll give you
a rat's ass fat bastard how about asking
if I'm okay
I could have fucking died hey guys guys
will grow animals stop acting like
humans stay out of this and he's no
Hannibal he's a man a man look at the
size of his hat
I'm warning you vermin I'm not in the
mood I've had it up bullshit today I
don't need it from you like you had
problems you've been on your ass all day
oh yeah I try to get laid she gets
electrocuted
her freak kills my friend so I kill him
he comes back to life so I kill him
again I'll call the bastard then one
actually shows up then I followed up but
she disappeared
no sex no food no booze and you think
you got it bad I think he's in pain fuck
all of you
leave me alone until you can fix this
okay I guess it's up to me don't worry
it's fine
Riza we'll fix it okay think
look at those fuckers safe and warm in
their houses maybe I need to think like
a human not a rodent so what do I need
money with money we can buy anything we
need how are we gonna get money I ain't
getting a job think about it
the mouth-breathers don't play by the
rules so why should we they take what
they want when they want and then stored
away like fucking squirrels for winter
it's time we take back this city from
the ones who have forced us to live on
the street like vagrants alright let's
go take it
we're here what robbed a bank
why not it'll be easy so what's the plan
it wasn't my idea but was it okay this
is I'll sneak in and open the door mrs.
the governess Hey
good plan Riza yeah I'll be the lookout
[Music]
captain no matter how hard we beat the
shit out of him he won't shut up I don't
know what to do
what's a sheriff he's a maniac
lock him up
shut up you can use more
[Music]
so kid any sign of them
[Music]
what took so long and to take care of
business
[Music]
on Tracy play
[Music]
how are you gonna open it
stinking open hey hardly I am an expert
at locks give me a boost
yeah so guess a number between one and
nine I'm surrounded by idiots let me do
it it's about to give I heard it crack
oh that was my bad
well that didn't work what you be trying
next
it's beautiful what hey there's a lot of
cabbage this has got to be a joke right
[Music]
hey stop fooling around
RZA let's go we only need enough for
tonight what's wrong with you Cheryl and
what about tomorrow we should take it
off taco help me carry it right now he's
only just a kid that's too heavy for him
rat boy greed is good the 1% won't miss
it
besides it's insured we gotta grab as
much as we can come on dig it yeah come
on come on come on
you're being too greedy let's go all
right fine
it feels so wrong to leave it behind all
right let's just get out of here you
can't buy happiness but you can't steal
it shut it
[Music]
that the cops
dudes the fuzz is here you gotta get out
of there now
hurry up we've been busted get the fuck
out of there
[Applause]
this is the police we're screwed now I'm
out through the shitter
what the hell what about us your hands
won't make it past the bulb surrender
come out with your paws up
I'm really flush with cash now
the windows it's the only way up the
glass is double bladed I know we can do
this all we have to do is put our heads
together dad
[Applause]
[Music]
taco over here Riza
there's an open door make a break boy
when they cease fire you can do it you
better be right pause if I die I'm gonna
kick your ass
[Music]
No
[Music]
well that was a dog day afternoon
hurry up kiddo is he okay
yeah yeah I'm sure he's fine probably
just hiding in the sewers somewhere
[Music]
zombi mouth-breather
[Applause]
[Music]
good
oh no attention fan on the roof it's a
pair of cats up their search huh you
cats out there we know you have the
money we've got you surrounded
taco taco wake up taco please taco
wicked up Oh
please say something my son
[Music]
the cat's robbed the bank I don't
believe it how do they don't even look
back egg roll
[Music]
you want the damn money
[Music]
soon
Malou
[Music]
what's up hey hey you move come on you
Cheryl what happened hey Cheryl what
happened to the kitty was he hit by a
car or did you do something tell him I'm
the worst father ever
what do you mean he's been shot he's
dead give me now what
you moron
[Music]
Cheryl Oh disinfectant no wait kanya no
whiskey I've got whiskey dass caught
fucking shit fuck me where the fuck
tonight
Oh pump gone 10 boxes make yourself
useful man up
[Music]
let me see shit he's still bleeding
[Music]
come on taco you can't die taco you're a
fucking cat you got nine lives it's
taken you an hour to climb ten stairs
cut me some slack man I was born to fly
bawk hold on Cheryl you made it man that
was some crazy ass shit what happened to
the kid he saved my life
stupid how can we help stop he needs to
rest ah pumps gonna wake up a wealthy
boy right what's the total score how
much you got the money right
there is no money I threw it away all of
it be quiet
all of you out me too especially you the
boy stays here go on get out now he's my
son I'll look after him and how's that
working out you almost got a killed but
I didn't know he's okay
hey don't you get it Cheryl it's over
we're over you we don't have a home
anymore
damn it already I have some money give
me that okay
this is for the back rent this is next
year's rent this is for the damage you
did this is for the fish you stole this
is for the stress you've caused me and
this and what do you all say me and
there's this lift what shall we do it
[Music]
anyway as we were getting hot and heavy
it's turkeys fight so and then the old
man says he doesn't want his daughter
dating Iraq then he said I don't have
enough cash you to support her can you
believe that shit you're making this
shit up later that night I went to her
tree and he belted me with acorns that's
when I decided no more squirrels hmm but
they're just like you they're fucking
nuts birdbrain in honor of this
scrumptious feast I'd like to place and
spoil the fun no way that's the problem
these days no appreciation for the
classics no class now he's gone let's
get this party started
this sucks she's gone for good
[Music]
you're gonna get too drunk to fly those
my Gus thanks
[Music]
that's my you mess with my family
[Music]
you finish it oh no no I could really
it's fine
well okay if you insist
[Music]
looks like the circus is in town I
[Applause]
[Music]
thought I wasn't good enough for you no
great I'm never getting laid well I
never liked the word never and there is
no time like the present what do you say
let's make tabbies together
[Music]
you
[Music]